I haven’t been feeling very happy lately. Now, this could be due to any number of things: adjusting to a new job, not seeing my daughter as much because of that new job, cabin fever, PMS-related stuff I won’t even get into (you’re welcome), and a real disinterest in writing any kind of fiction.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a combination of all of these things, and that I need some serious self-care and a change of routine to fix it.
First of all, I need to drop a night of work from the week. It won’t affect our finances that much, but it will give me more Lilly-time and alleviate the guilt and stress of not being there.
Next, more long walks. It’s the only form of exercise I really get, and I miss it. This winter wasn’t as cold or icy as it’s been in prior years, but it’s been enough to keep me indoors more. I’m ready to crawl out of my skin. Spring is in the air, and that alone is enough to lift my spirits and get me outdoors more.
Okay, so maybe get a handle on my serious dark chocolate addiction. Eat more kale. Drink more green tea instead of coffee. Take more naps. Read more books and watch more movies, things that make me happy and that I haven’t done nearly enough of. Maybe de-clutter my house, clean out the closets. A spring cleaning, of house, body and mind.
Now, the crux of it: I’m going to ease up on this blog a bit, and start a new venture. Fiction isn’t thrilling me, so I thought I’d finally listen to that little voice that’s been telling me to do a blog on Lilly and spina bifida. It’s an issue that so obviously impacts my life, but besides the Chicken Soup essay, I haven’t addressed it in my writing very much. I’ve written a few stories involving characters with SB, but I haven’t figured out how to do it without bogging it down in sentimentality. It’s hard to get that distance. But I don’t have to worry too much about that in a blog about my own daughter.
So that’s my latest project, my labor of love. I’m just starting to pull it together, and figuring out what I want it to be, its form and tone. I even asked Lilly’s permission.
“Do you mind if I write about you, Boo?” I asked her, as she came up to me while I poked around WordPress.
“Sure mom, you can write about me,” she said, and without another word went back to her art project.
All right, then. Project Rejuvenate begins!